We’ve all seen the memes on Facebook saying if they can’t handle you, don’t shrink for them, let them choke. It’s kind of an odd analogy but I get the idea behind it. Where I question the thoughtfulness behind it is why are we putting the responsibility on them?

It’s 2026 now, we’re too old to be around crappy people that don’t deserve our time or presence! We went through the era of seeing what you had for dinner on Insta, we posted cringe #selfies, we’re older than Netflix, grew up watching cable, and some of us even were born before the internet.

You have the ability to walk away from the situation, block the haters, and move on with your life. It’s not cute to crash out on the internet.

I used to think the best revenge on the people that have hurt me or to avenge the people that suck in the world was to broadcast how terrible they were. I was more concerned with making sure other people knew the aggressor wasn’t who they were. Who does that benefit? It might feel good in the moment but if we are all being honest with ourselves the people who actually care about what you have to say will care what you have to say and the ones that won’t, won’t.

So why are you wasting all this extra time and effort on someone who’s caused harm to you? If you were to ask me now, I would say the best revenge is healing. Become the best version of yourself. If an abusive spouse told you, you were worthless, love yourself. If you had absentee parents, show up for your friends and family. If your friends aren’t putting in effort, maybe stop being friends with them and put in all your effort in the people that actually matter. There will always be crappy people in the world but there are also good ones.

Loving and respecting yourself is key to moving on. Don’t you deserve that? To feel loved. To look in the mirror and smile without noticing all of your flaws or scars. Life is short, man. Unless you move to Nepal and live in the mountains estranged from society you will always be surrounded by people.

If they don’t show you love and make your life better, what are you doing?

I see it all the time with people in brand new relationships. Part of the fun in being in a healthy marriage (especially a new one) is looking and secretly judging people who first start in a relationship. You can really tell how much someone loves themselves by how they act in the beginning of a relationship. My first observation is always how long have they been single? If you have started multiple serious relationships in the last 6 months you probably don’t love yourself and you probably need to work on things.

Part of healing is knowing you’re better off alone, secure, and whole than any other version of that surrounded by friends, being married, or living in a subdivision that doesn’t serve you.

Not to brag or be that way but I’m surrounded by the most wholesome loving people in the world. Maybe part of that was luck and being at the right place at the right time but the real reason is I stopped wasting my time on people that when the rubber met the road they weren’t good friends to me. Everyone gets busy but if the only time I know where I stand with you is when something bad happens you’re AAA not a good friend.

If I hadn’t disconnected my AAA membership friends I wouldn’t have found the real ones. The ones that talk about the hard things, the ones who don’t pretend we like the people we don’t, and the ones who see the truest version of ourselves (and stay). Don’t waste your time on crappy people man, the real ones are out there. They’re worth the wait! I can tell you from experience, you’re much better off by yourself than feeling the loneliness that comes with being in a toxic relationship or surrounded by people who don’t even know you.